Saturday, November 21, 2009

Challenges and holidays

Ah, metaphors, how I do appreciate their coping spirit. Not altogether floating butterflies or stinging bees, but holidays are similar to a boxing match. I feel like I've received a "One, two, whammy" to my whole body...or an injection of cortisol. What would I be using as a flight or fight here? The preparations are coming together. The ring is being staged...the publicity is buzzing like hot electricity over a loud speaker. On the plus side, my home is getting an overhaul and the grand sweep is making life--or at least the rooms I live in less congested. On the other side, you guessed it, so much to do so little time before the big match.

I joined the GGX challenge through Gold's gym. I was so excited that my winning enthusiasm convinced my husband, my mom and my friend to join with me. Within the second week (of complete exhilaration on my part and waning motivation for the others) I hurt my knee. After my trainer at the gym told me that he wouldn't let me workout with him until I had it checked out with my doctor I was extremely discouraged. Then, I went to the doctor and was told all the things I thought I'd be told. There is a slip for an MRI hanging around at home somewhere but it is to be used as a last resort.

I can't believe it. A KO in the second round. Since then I have felt a hunger inside that is causing me to eat with wild abandon. There is no reason for this and I am disappointed in myself. After all I have accomplished! I mean...I'm down three pants sizes and two bra sizes...almost 3 cup sizes. This here is the incredible shrinking woman for real! Yet, I feel unmotivated to do anything active now because hurts.

There is nothing funny about taking a trusted part of your body for granted. So I feel great in my smaller clothes. I feel sexy and stylish because fitted clothing looks sharp on me. I adore the remarks of my friends and family--particularly my husband and children who notice everything. I look younger in dress, but I feel older in appearance. There is something to say for being more filled out--it's a bit youthful to have full cheeks and supple limbs. Without the extra weight and inches my skin is looser and that my friends is not a friendly combination with gravity.

I keep reminding myself that I still have access to the gym until the end of the year. There are still 5 weeks left in the challenge. I can still pull this off! If I could stop using my knee so it would get better than I would be ready to burn up the floor with all the different classes available. I am desperate to get in and train on the equipment! I will get back in there...I want to make it through another round!

Another painful punch from the season is the rate of illnesses. My youngest son caught a cold in the first week of the challenge (first experience in a group daycare environment at the gym) and has been sick for three weeks. My older two have been in and out of illness but not at the same time so while my eldest is ill now, my middle is well...but she was ill two weeks ago whilst her older brother was full of energy. This makes it all the more difficult to get the necessary rest and I can say it's taking its toll on all of us.

Here's the powerful silver lining. My motivation and smelling salts if you will. I have gotten rid of all my bigger clothes (save dress clothes...that's too expensive to let go of right now) so my mind is in the loop. It knows what needs to be done and is yelling to my body...there is no going back, the shrinking must continue or be sustained but bigger is in the past.

The holiday season is just like the raging fans around the ring. They come, happy and shiny bringing anticipation and anxiety. They make us do things we would not do reasonably within a year...and there is no going back. People are waiting with expectations and judgment is heavy on the ropes. Fleeting in their nature, always on to bigger and better things before the final bell. I mean, really? Decorating for Christmas the day after Trick or Treating? Seriously?

But I'll make myself get through it. I'll instill the traditions in my own family that have been graced upon me over a lifetime--with a few modifications. Turkeys are dressed, houses are draped and the adoring fans sing with cheer for the victorious. Just like a tough workout, if I can get through the holiday season, I can get through anything.